Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter:  Eskimo Pi 

2000 pounds of Chinese soup:  Won ton 

millionth of a mouthwash:  1 microscope 

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:  1 bananosecond. 

Weight an evangelist carries with God:  1 billigram 

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: knot-furlong 

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling:  1 lite year 

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling 

Half of a large intestine:  1 semicolon 

1000 aches:  1 kilohurtz 

Basic unit of laryngitis:  1 hoarsepower 

Shortest distance between two jokes:  A straight line. 

453.6 graham crackers:  1 pound cake 

1 million microphones:  1 megaphone 

1 million bicycles:  2 megacycles 

2000 mockingbirds:  Two kilomockingbirds 

10 cards:  1 decacards 

1 kilogram of falling figs:  1 Fig Newton 

1 millionth of a fish:  1 microfiche 

1 trillion pins:  1 terrapin 

10 rations:  1 decoration 

100 rations:  1 C-ration 

2 monograms:  1 diagram 

8 nickels:  2 paradigms 

100 Senators:  Not 1 decision 

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V.  League